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Saturday, June 16, 2007
i thought things change for the better already last night. again, i admit i was stupid to be taken in by all those words you said. it hurts terribly deep down.i feel just like a fool. your msg-es was so sweet that i got melted last night but..
I wanna thank you first before your first for making a wonderful different in my life.
Colours were nonexistence in my world until you came along and light it up.
I was colourblind until you walk into my life and painted it with feelings.
what does all that means?
i said: you sounded weird today
you replied: i testing out the phrases
i have got nothing else to say then. but why tested it on me? does people go around asking others werid question and testing out such phrases on their friends? all this just led me to further confusion.
i do not know what else to say but to fake up and
i said: i thought today is appreciation day or wat
you replied: asking me to call and talk on the phone awhile
the conversation begins and we chatted as usual. when its about time for me to hang up,you will go awhile more okay? from a fifteen minute conversation till 1hour plus. i thought everything was back to usual.. till we really need to end the conversation, you said something really sweet and make me just so not myself for that particular moment. i thought everything was true again.. yesterday was a lovely night, i slept sweetly through till morning and msg you BONVOYAGE before i left the house. you didnt reply a thanks to me, its okay. i dont expect that too. after few hours you sent a long text with words that i dont really understand but i know its filled with thoughts. so i ask if you came up with that.
you replied: you doubt i copied and paste? let me tell you this..the last thing i will do is copy other people work..unless i am really desperate.
my fault? it really spoiled my day. i dont think i have ever done anything wrong. i am loss for words but i reply still.
i said:i didnt say that.if my words mistook you to think that way, sorry.
you replied: sorry,i abit bad mood today.Feel like turn my room upside down burn all my stuff pack my clothes and ride my bike to where my legs can take me.
I can sense you arent feeling good. but does that mean you can just vent your anger on me?
i said: its okay=)) cheer up yeah? something happen? you can share with me if you dont mind.
you replied:I will try ba. thanks for bearing with me^^ i can handle myself.. no big deal..sorry for disturbing
i wont force if you didnt want to tell but you dont have to go no big deal. maybe girls are just so sensative. yet still, i reply you
i said: Oohokies. if you ever need a listening ear, i will just be right here=)) hope the trip to malaysia later will bring away the unhappiness in you.. take cares
you didnt reply me after that. whats more can i do? i wonder do i deserve all this in the first place.maybe knowing you was a wrong thing but i always thank god for bringing everyone around me to me.despite the person bring harms or good, theres always something gain from it.a lesson learnt or anything.. i believe fate brings two person together. yet sometime truth can be just so hurtful. i do wish for anything more, i will rather you dont msg me anymore than msg and hurt me with those words.dont wish to have quarells anymore even little tiffs. it wont be nice for us as well as our parents too if they were to know.

i told myself [whats yours, it will be yours.. whats not yours, no matter how hard you tried to get it, still it wont be yours..]
whats deep down inside you, only you know it well yourself. i just hope you mean what you say each time. if only i could tell you all this but i guess i never can. i will just hope maybe a miracle appear tonight and angels enters your dreams to tell you? it sound kind of silly but what else can i do? i will rather be like what others say friend forever with you then enemy in the end..

i was holding strong till buddy msg came. the tears just rolled down. i dont know. i know shes arent feeling good. i dont know how to help her='\ i can just hope shes fine. take care my dear. why make two person end up together and separate them after that? i dont understand. guys dont understand girl? girl dont understand guys?
 no restriction!
7:34 PM